I’ll get a job when the burden of solid gold underpants is just too much to bear.

I’ll get a job when the sea ceases to rise and swell with each beat of my tortured heart.

I’ll get a job once I’m done convincing the relatives that my lawn is not a suitable place to hold the reunion.

I’ll get a job when the temperature drops, and I can no longer lie around in the sun, calling my lovers. 

I’ll get a job after Eunice lets me have a turn.

We’ll get a job when Laketown is finally free from crime.

I’ll get a job when the transdimensional harlequins cease to give me solid fashion advice. 

I’ll get a job when I get done showing them how we bolstered the local economy during “hard times.”

I’ll get a job when you’ve pried the mint julep from my dead, cold hands.

I’ll get a job when Rybert and Olaf are confident that it is safe for me to leave the house.